Freida’s Birth Story

I’ve written up her birth story again, which is something I like to do one year after my children’s births, to see what’s changed, how I feel about things now. I have found with both of them, as the experiences were overwhelmingly positive, the challenging moments are not remembered as vividly as the joyful ones. The opposite of this of course can be true for people who experience traumatic births. These stories and feelings stay with us, it’s so very important to know that. It is not just one day, it is life.

On the 15th of December 2019. 40 + 5 weeks pregnant. It was 2 days after the UK election and me and everyone I knew had been feeling pretty despondent... and 2020 had yet to start! It'd been a grey few days. I knew I had to completely change my headspace before our baby would be joining us. That day I woke up to beautiful, crisp winter sun in Bath and felt good. 40 + 5 was the same day of pregnancy my son had been born, 2.5 years earlier so, I thought, 'aha! this would be an excellent day to have our baby.'

We walked into our beautiful city through the Botanical Gardens and Royal Crescent. On the way we stopped into a charity shop and found the perfect roaring dinosaur book for a pound, Luca was crazy about it and in an amazing mood all afternoon (2.5 so not always in amazing moods...). We had an delicious lunch at The Green Bird Cafe followed by frangipane mince pies. I just about fit behind the table.

The perfect day, no tantrums (from anyone) sunshine, magic, love. We walked back home, happy and tired. Luca fell asleep in his buggy and we quietly left him to snooze in the hall. I was a little bit concerned it might turn into an epic danger nap but I was knackered too, so fancied a bit of time on the sofa to myself, and Home Alone was on TV so that sold it. I felt like my body had been flooded with all the good stuff, and in fact it had. About an hour after we got home I felt my first surge, so gentle it was barely there. I decided the sensible thing would be to turn off Home Alone and have a nap. I woke after about an hour, I knew things were definitely happening by now. We had some dinner altogether. I breathed through my surges while we told Luca what was happening and he was so cool and easy going about it, it just made my heart burst.

We called my mum to come over to help put Luca to bed while Bill and I set up our birth space. Music, blankets everywhere, diffuser, all the candles. Bill started to get the birth pool out and began the assembly!

I went to say goodnight to Luca, my surges were intense and I couldn’t really sit down or manage to get through a book with him but he was totally fine and happy with my mum, which made things so easy. Knowing he was happy was so comforting.

I rocked on my birth ball in the twinkly lights of the Christmas tree as my surges got stronger, sung along to my birth playlist as loud as I could. When Tiny Dancer came on I had a little cry and messaged my pal Jess.

Breathing, up up up. I could feel the power of my surges but there wasn't pain. Though sometimes the strength of them made me need to hold on. I remember feeling a lot more compus mentis than with Luca's birth. I was feeling it all, deep emotion and incredible power. I knew things were really ramping up, even though I’d only been in labour for two hours. We called the midwife and she said she'd be there in about an hour.

Something I have since realised, this is a moment I didn't trust my own intuition - because as soon as she said that, I knew an hour was too long. But for some reason I said 'yes ok!'. Or maybe I knew, and I trusted I could do it.

About 20 minutes later, while Bill was filling up the birth pool in the other room (and having some trouble with a leaking tap) I felt a change in sensation. It was about 8pm, 3 hours after my first surge and the baby was coming... oh, now.

I waddled in and told him to leave the fucking pool and help me get my fucking knickers off. I crouched down on the floor, squeezed in next to the unused birth pool. After just one downward surge out came our baby's head, I reached down and felt a balloon coming out of my vagina and realised they must be in their amniotic sac. Then out came baby seconds later, bursting through the waters and arriving into my hands. I pulled her up to my chest and said... 'what just happened?'

The first thing I noticed was what a strong brow she had. It was about 5 minutes until I looked and saw we'd had a daughter.

My placenta followed very swiftly afterwards.

Our midwife arrived 15 minutes later, coming through the door saying 'I hear you've just had a baby!'

Bill went upstairs to my mum, (who'd just that second got Luca to sleep) to tell him she had a Granddaughter. Her face when she came downstairs and peeped around the door, magic.

Happy Birthday Freida Wren, you light up my life. And you've still got the best brows in town.